What is your love language?

På det sidste er jeg blevet ramt af tekster om “the five love languages” hvad der føles som overalt. Testen skal fortælle dig, hvordan du bedst kan lide at give og modtage kærlighed. Handler det om masser af fysisk berøring, om at give gaver eller om at sige søde ord? I sidste ende bukkede jeg under og klikkede mig ind for at tage testen selv. Testresultaterne viste sig at være indsigtsfulde og interessante. Jeg skyndte mig at sende et link af sted til Jesus for at få ham til at tage testen også. Det var endnu mere interessant, for det viste sig, at vores resultater var rimelig ens.

Testen stiller en række spørgsmål og giver to svarmuligheder, hvor du skal vælge den, du hælder mest til. Når du har besvaret alle spørgsmålene, bliver resultaterne præsenteret. Her ser du, hvor mange point du får ved hvert “love language” ud af de fem: acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch and receiving gifts. Altså hjælp og tjenester, kvalitetstid, kærlighedserklæringer, fysisk berøring og at modtage gaver.

Mine resultater var:
10 Acts of service
9  Quality time
6  Words of affirmation
5  Physical touch
1  Receiving gifts

Det betyder altså, at hvis Jesus vil sende kærlighed mod mig, skal han gøre det ved at hjælpe mig, når jeg mindst venter det. Være med til at gøre mit liv nemmere. Svinge støvsugeren, gøre mig en tjeneste eller tage beslutninger, så jeg ikke behøver at gøre det. Det betyder uendelig meget i mit liv med endeløse to-do-lister, når han hjælper mig, uden jeg behøver at bede om det. Det varmer mit hjerte og gør mig blød i knæene.

Det gjorde han i går – støvsugede, skiftede sengetøj og gjorde badeværelset rent. Så elsker jeg ham lige en smule mere. Men kan en tur med støvsugeren virkelig være et udtryk for kærlighed? (JA!) Som testen formulerer det:

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Efter tjenester (acts of service) mit næsthøjeste resultat var kvalitetstid. Jeg elsker at være sammen med Jesus, om det er på en planlagt og aktiv date, eller om det er at være hjemme en fredag aften, mig i det ene rum og ham i det andet – bare det, at jeg ved, at han er hos mig er kvalitetstid.

Og sjovt nok, så betyder det mindst for mig at modtage gaver. Altså… Jeg er sikker på, at de fleste af os holder af at både give og modtage gaver, men i sidste ende, betyder det nok mere for mig, at Jesus svinger støvsugeren, eller at vi går på en date og skaber minder sammen, end at han køber gaver til mig 😉

Millennial-generationen (inklusiv mig selv) elsker at finde ud af og få fortalt, hvem vi er. Det er både gennem stjernetegns-memes på Instagram, personlighedstests og ikke mindst kærlighedstests. Ikke desto mindre synes jeg, at denne kærlighedstest gav god viden om, hvordan jeg selv udviser kærlighed og hvordan jeg gerne vil modtage kærlighed. Omvendt kan testen også hjælpe til at indse, at blot fordi jeg selv er vild med, at Jesus gør mig tjenester, betyder det ikke, at han også vil modtage kærlighed på den måde. Vores testresultater endte altså i en god snak om, hvordan vi udviser og gerne vil modtage kærlighed, og vi lærte ikke kun noget om os selv men også om hinanden og om, hvordan vi skal fungere i et forhold sammen.

Så… hvad er dit kærlighedssprog? Hvis du ikke er i et forhold, kan du også tage testen i forhold til familie, single eller venner.

Recently, I’ve seen “the five love languages” mentioned enough times which resulted in me taking the quiz to figure out what my love language is. The quiz results turned out to be very informative and interesting, and I immediately shot off a text to Jesus asking him to take the quiz also. What turned out to be even more interesting is that our results were very close.

The quiz asks questions where you have to choose between two answers and pick the one that you relate to. After answering all questions, your results are presented and divided into five different love languages; acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch and receiving gifts. Most of us communicate in all five love languages, however, we score higher on some of them. My results were:

10 Acts of service
9  Quality time
6  Words of affirmation
5  Physical touch
1  Receiving gifts

That means that if Jesus wants to show me love, he should do so by helping me out where I least expect it. It couldn’t be any truer. Yesterday, he cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the apartment without me even asking, and I loved him so much for doing that. In my busy life with endless to-do-lists, nothing means more to me than when he automatically does things to help me out, and without me having to ask him to do it. As the quiz put it:

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

Next up, quality time is important to me. I love spending time with Jesus, whether it is planned activities like going on a date or just spending a quiet night at home knowing that he is in the room next to me.

And funnily enough, receiving gifts is not that important to me. I mean, I’m pretty sure we all love giving and receiving gifts, but vacuuming the floor or spending time with me is more valuable.

Us millennials love being told who we are, whether it’s through zodiac sign memes and personality quizzes. I am no different – I love zodiac sign memes and quizzes and trust the results. I mean, this love language quiz is a great way of exploring what means more to you in your relationship, and also what means more to your partner. After Jesus and I both did the quiz, we had a great talk about our results and got to learn even more about each other and how to work as a couple.

So, next up – what is your love language?

If you’re not currently in a relationship, you can also take the quiz to see your love languages with friends, family and as a single.

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